Tessie D

It’s been five months since I’ve been back on here. Writing in this silly little diary. But so much has happened. I moved to Brownwood earlier this month to work as the office manager on a small dairy just outside of town.  I worked on the same farm where I worked last summer and saved…

It’s been two years since I started this diary. Seven months since she died. I’ve had two birthdays. She would’ve had a birthday, too. Just a couple months ago. The days will continue to pass whether she’s in them or not, and eventually, I’ll be lost, too.  I was an entirely different person, and I…

Angel and I went out on Saturday night to a Mexican resturant on the outskirts of town. The restaurant was in a remodeled old house so that the floors buckled and the popcorn ceiling hung low. Still, Angel said it was one of his favorite spots as we pulled into the gravel parking lot in…

I found a card on my desk at work this morning when I’d come in. Propped against my office phone was a white envelope with “Tess” written in messy cursive on the front. Inside, there was a card with yellow and purple flowers on the front. Opening up the card, Angel had written at the…

Baby was cremated. My joy. My sorrow. All of it with her. I still don’t understand what happened. She was here, we heard her crying, cooing, and laughing throughout the day, even the day before she got sick. The walls in our house are so thin that she could be heard in every room of the…

Baby’s gone. She died last week. She lived inside of me and out in the world for only nine months, and now she’s gone.  She started getting sick on Sunday evening, but I didn’t think anything of it. She was tired and fussy. She had a fever, but babies have fevers all the time. So…

I went to town today and picked up an application for college. I’m going to apply and major in English. It’s too late to start for the fall but I can get ready to go in the Spring. Besides, it’ll give me time to get everything set up. I’m thinking that I’ll take just a…

When we first moved to Dublin, before Momma and Daddy bought the land with Granddaddy’s money and we moved into the trailer house, we lived in a one-bedroom apartment across the street from the Dairy Queen. Momma hadn’t started working yet and Daddy wasn’t getting any disability from the VA. I don’t know how we…

I went to the grocery store the other day with Baby. The sun was blazing hot at noon, the heat blaring down on us through the truck’s windshield, like ants burning up under a magnifying glass’s reflection. The cold air stopped working a long time ago, and we’d never fixed it. Instead, we rolled all…

I saw Eric at the park the other day. I had taken Baby to the park in her stroller like I always did, right after dusk. Most everyone is home by then and for anyone who isn’t, it’s too dark to really see. The monotony of walking along the gravel path helps calm me down…