Tessie D

Angel asked me again this morning about setting the date.

I will admit that I like the idea of taking his name — I could be a new person with a new family and new connections. We could move further south, further away from home, away from everyone who knew me before, and I could reinvent myself. I don’t have to be Tess Despaire anymore. I could start over with someone who loves me and wants to take care of me.

Starting over could also mean starting over at school. He’d be able to pursue his dream of owning a farm and starting a family. I could have my dream of going to college and studying literature. I could have a room of my own if I were married to Angel. We’d have the financial security to protect both of us. Our life and marriage could be different; times are different. Marriage could protect us and provide the financial means and security that would let us both live out our dreams. Our marriage doesn’t have to be the way that it was in the past, where a woman has to give up her dreams when she gets married and has children. We could write our own rules and carve our own paths. Angel could have his dreams, and I could have mine.